Dear Advice Chick, I have a question, how do you handle a hood-rat mother -in-law without hurting your spouse? I have a mother-in-law who thinks we are an ATM machine. She will call on a monthly basis for electric and telephone bill payments instead of looking for a J-O-B. My spouse is in his mid-30's with a younger brother and son the same age. She does not work, collects Social Security for her 8-year old son, and lives in Section-8. My husband is a wonderful man who feels obligated to help. I am all for helping family on both sides but their is a difference between helping and being taken advantage of. He knows how I feel but I don't voice my opinion each time she calls knowing at some point it will only cause a rift between us because regardless of how I feel, she is his mother.
Advice Chick replies,
don’t ever ask a man to not help his mom. Her son might be the only person she has, don’t be fool ass enough to think you can stop him from doing what he has probably been doing all along. Its what he will be doing after you go from MRS. To MS. If you keep clowning.
don’t have to hide the fact that he’s helping his mother. Are you mad cause the money he gives his mom would be better spent on you?
hood rat mother in law? Being taken advantage of?
Its nothing you can do. Its not your money and its not your business. if he’s helping her now, he’s always helped her, and isn’t gonna stop now. you’re gonna hurt yourself and your marriage. Soc. Sec. for 8 year old, he may be disabled, or father passed away and the mom is there to raise her child.
its his money and his momma. You knew how I spend my money. I feel disrespected. We can file some papers. This will linger long after the discussion is over. .
Dear Advice Chick,
I have been dating this man from another city since February. He told me the only reason he moved down here (Florida) is because his daughter’s mother was being ignorant and took the baby she just had and he didn’t want his 1 month old daughter growing up without knowing him. So when he moved down here two years ago he got a job and an apartment so the baby’s mother wanted to be with him again.
He let her move in with him, and he keep telling me the only reason he won’t put her out is because she will take their child and move out of state. He can’t be one day without his only child. Ok, I tried to understand that but now I am dating other people and he is mad because he says I am disrespecting him because technically, I AM his woman, we just don’t live together. He “says” he doesn’t share the same room with the baby mother and hasn’t been sexually active with her since before we met. Should I try and be more understanding or just keep doing my thing?
Advice Chick replies,
What are you, a martyr?(1) You don’t owe this lying motha-Shut YO Mouf …. NAYthin! You know damn well he IS sleeping in the bed with, and laying straight lead pipe to his baby momma on the regular.
Tell ya what. Since you are silly enough to even entertain the thought that he just might be telling you the truth, suggest stopping by to meet his EX and to see the baby. Since he and his baby momma are just room mates, this won’t be a problem, right? Wrong. He wont allow you to come by because she is his girl and you are his poor, played out, PATSY. (2)
(1) martyr
n : One who makes great sacrifices or suffers much in order to further a belief, cause, or principle.
(2) patsy
n : a person who is gullible and easy to take advantage of.
