Dear Advice Chick,
I could really use your opinion. I am seeing this guy. We started out as friends and got a little friendlier. He asked me to go on a trip to visit him because he was out of town on business. Now he has suddenly disappeared and his cell phone has been disconnected. He is supposed to come back in town in a few weeks. If I see him, how should I approach him? Or should I just leave it alone?
Advice Chick replies,
Leave it alone just like he left you alone. Miss girl, some men have multiple cell phones because the numbers are disposable just like the flings they have with their chicks-on-the-side. If your so-called friend wanted to be in touch with you, he could. He has your number.
Dear Advice Chick,
First off - I'm a Gay African-American male, and I have been with my Lover for about 8 months now... For the first 6 months, we were cool - and then I found out that he was still chatting with people on the gay sex site we met on. After about a month, I finally asked him about it - and of course he denied that anything was going on. But ever since then, every little thing seems to make him upset - he says that we are not communicating like we use too; and this may be true do to the fact that I had stop because I was trying to figure out what he was doing with his "free time". But I feel that we are communicating, so I think he 's just looking for a way out of the relationship... It has been about 2 weeks since we had sex, and now we only meet up to go to the Gym (an a occasional Dinner); and that's about it. Whenever we are suppose to hook up, he ends up hanging with his friends - and leaves me at home waiting for him to call me back... So what should I do, I'm in my mid-thirties - and I'm tired of hunting for a good man; he was a good man before this confrontation;; but now he is tripping and saying he "Loves Me". Help a Brutha out!
Advice Chick replies,
You’re my boi, no doubt. The thing is, you met dude on a gay SEX site. Not a gay dating site, a gay SEX site. I double checked with three gay guys that I know, and the results are the same - gay men meet on gay sex sites to find sex partners. Not life partners, SEX partners. I’m guessing for the first 6 months he was careful enough to keep his other liaisons to himself. After a while, he relaxed a bit, and you now know something is up. Deny, deny, deny - this applies to MEN, straight or gay. He ain’t gonna admit jack, but you already know the business.
Stop waiting on him to call you back. You know he doesn’t love you because love doesn’t hurt. Love doesn’t leave you wondering, questioning, crying (don’t front on me) or sad.
Focus your attention else where. I suggest letting all of your (true) friends know that you’re on the market again. Ask them if they know someone that may be compatible with you. Desperate? No. Determined? Yep.
