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Dear Advice Chick,
I dated this guy last year, and it was an emotional rollercoaster of a relationship. I fell in love with him, and we ended on bad terms. It has been almost one year since we spoke. The last time we spoke, it was bad like always, and I did the same old crap I did in the past that caused him to be frustrated with me. I still think about him, and I wonder how he is doing. I had to find closure by myself with the break up, and it has been difficult at times because I made some bad mistakes in the relationship, one I vow to change. I moved and I changed my numbers, so he couldn't contact me. But we do have a mutual friend, who I work with everyday. I don't discuss him, and she doesn't either, but I'm constantly reminded of him, when I see her. I want to apologize to him for what I've done, and talk to him, so he could understand why I acted the way I did. But I'm too afraid to call, because I don't know how he's going to react towards me. Do I break the NC rule and call or do I just continue to struggle and fight this? I know he has moved on, and I haven't found someone who has been worth anything good. But I just want to have that final talk. Finally, do you think if he wanted to talk to me, he would of by now?
Advice Chick replies,
Telephones aren't THAT complex. They work in TWO ways; they make calls and they RECEIVE calls. That mutual friend is still *mutual* meaning he/she has contact with you and with your ex. So, if your ex was remotely thinking about you the mutual friend would know and let you know he wants to talk - IF he actually wanted to talk; which he apparently does not.
It's been almost a year since you and he have spoken, will you puhleeze gone somewhere? Your apology isn't required, and the odds are he's not interested in why you acted the way you did.
You need to figure out why you acted the way you did, and devise a plan to ensure you don't act like that the next time you are in a relationship with someone. Don't do Drama boo - it's only desirable in fiction novels, on the small screen, or on the silver screen.
Dear Advice Chick,
I want to do more during the holiday season than eat and socialize. I want to make a difference in someone’s life. Can you give me some tips?
Advice Chick replies,
Call the volunteer group director at a local group home for girls/boys and offer to bring gifts for the less fortunate. Call a retirement home and ask for the director. They're always looking for volunteers to help organize activities for the elderly.
Volunteer to serve dinner at a homeless shelter, or to take calls at a (teen/rape/runaway, etc.) crisis center. Go to a hospital and spend an hour or two with elderly patients who don’t receive visitors.
The holiday season is bigger than all of us. Doing something selfless is a good thing.
Ask Advice Chick about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING related to dating, sex, love, and life! Kimberly Williams (THE resident dating expert at EURweb.com) calls on over 10 years of dating and relationship industry experience. Read past columns and more at http://www.advicechick.com
