Dear Advice Chick,
I have a dilemma...I just recently broke up with this guy that I was seeing. We officially broke up on June 23, 2005 (yes I have the exact date in my head). Well, he called me for my birthday which was October 28, 2005...actually he called me the day after October 29, 2005 but there were feelings that I still had for him. We talked for about an hour. I told him I still loved him but he has this thing with "recycling".....he does not go back with old girlfriends.
However, in this same conversation he told me how he is seeing someone now who he used to talk to but nothing ever became of it...He also told me that he continually compares her to me...It seems like he still loves me but he feels like we would never work. He prides himself in still being friends with ex-girlfriends but I don't want to be friends. To tell the truth I am not that mature. I never keep in touch with ex-boyfriends...I am not interested in what you are doing in your life. If we could not be friends when we were together why would I want to be friends now...Also, why is it that old boyfriends always want to be your friend after the both of you have hurt each other? I am very hurt at this point. I really loved him. He has no desire to be back with me but wants be my friend? I don't get it! Please help me understand this thing!
Advice Chick replies,
Here’s what’s going on. He was at home bored to death dialing phone number from his old black book. After three wrong numbers he ran across your number, dialed your number, and you answered all happy to hear from him. He might not have even realized your birthday was the day before. He needed some conversation, but didn’t want you to get your hopes up so he hurriedly informed you that he is seeing someone, translation – you don’t have a chance.
You don’t have to answer the phone just because it rings. That’s why caller-id was invented. You already said he has NO DESIRE to be back with you so what is the problem? It took him four months to call you since the breakup, and the odds are he won’t be calling again anytime soon. If he does, just let him know that you’re NOT interested in being his friend at this time in your life. Ask him to lose your number for good. If he continues to call, send his calls straight to voice mail until you can order call blocking and block his calls.
We put ourselves through drama. Your pain is self-inflicted. “He has no desire to be back with me.” – THAT is a mouthful.
Dear Advice Chick,
Does persistence work as far as trying to date a lady?
Advice Chick replies,
Persistence works when the lady is at least interested in you. If there is absolutely NO mutual attraction persistence becomes peskiness.
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