Dear Advice Chick,
I fell in love with a married man a year ago. I have tried to break it off by E-Mail, phone and face to face, it always ends with both of us naked somewhere. Help me break up with him and mean it. I love him and I know it's wrong but the lovemaking is incredible, I think I am losing it sometimes. I try to stop thinking about the sessions and then he will call and tell me what he wants to do to me. I can't stand to be around him, so I keep my distance and speak by phone. I have a journal of all our encounters, it does read like a
steamy novel. I didn't use names but it is quite raw. I tried to get it out of my system. Please help me.

Advice Chick replies,
You fell in love with a man who stood before friends, family, and God to profess his love for another woman? Silly rabbit, don't you know you are only in his life to do the freaky nasty acts that his wife will not? He calls you to tell you what he wants to do to you because if he said those filthy words to wifey she would slap the taste out of his philandering mouth!

"Secret Slut" is a title worn by many women across the globe. "Secret" because nobody but you, him, your girl, and ALL of his boys know about it. "Slut" because you nasty. It's o.k. though. Your lil journal might take you out of the darkness and into the spotlight. More on that later. For now, decide that you're through with being number two. Wifey get all of his affection, and all you get is his erection. She gets the holidays, and you get tear-soaked lonely days.

I remember an episode of Sex and the City when "Samantha the Slut" was ill with the flu. She called every man in her lil black book and could not get one man to come by and bring her some soup. They were willing to come over for sex, but when she was sick, nobody had time for her.

So, stop trying to break it off and actually break it off. Change your numbers, and stop calling him. Do not agree to see him ever again. You deserve more than always ending up naked somewhere. You deserve to hear more than what a man wants to do to you sexually. Quite frankly, YOU deserve more.

Now, pull out you lil sizzling secret sex journal, embellish it, and shop it to a publisher. If nobody bites, do like Zane did and publish it your damn self. If you make a million, I want half!

Dear Advice Chick,
I work as a loan officer and there is a very attractive guy who is offering to mentor me with no strings attached. How should I pursue this man? I really like him!

Advice Chick replies,
Do not pursue him, allow him to pursue you. He has offered to mentor you, so let him. This will allow the two of you to spend time together, getting to know one another in the interim. Be pretty. Be attentive. Be interested. Be kind. Be yourself. Be ready. Good luck.

Dear Advice Chick,
Do you keep an archive of the questions and your responses that are submitted to you? A few months ago a sister wrote in regarding her vagina being loose and you offered her a remedy for the situation. Unfortunately, I misplaced the eur email that your column was posted on. Could you forward me that particular question and answer again?

Advice Chick replies,
I post the archives of my column on http://www.advicechick.com . Due to my very busy schedule, I’m behind, but check back within a week or so. I expect to have most of my archived columns online there for y’all to review. However, I located that particular question and answer for you. Here it is:

“5 months ago I had a baby. My husband now complains about the size of my kat. He says that it has doubled in size. I spoke w/my doctor regarding this matter and he gave me some info on the “tighten and release” exercise. This only helped me very little. Should I consider surgery to tighten this matter?”

Advice Chick replies,
I, too, consulted with a physician and this is the information I obtained for you. The tighten and release exercises you mentioned are Kegel Exercises(1), which have been used successfully to help remedy the condition you described above. The pubococcygeus muscles support our lower abdominal organs. After pregnancy or surgery (and as we age) they may get loose. The Sphincter muscles clamp down and close off the rectum and urethra, and can also be found around the er, kat.

Kegel exercises can help. Practice tightening the pubococcygeus and sphincter muscles no less than 20 times in a row, 5 times a day --- every day. After a period as brief as two weeks, you and your husband should notice a difference in the muscle tone of your "meow." If this doesn't work, you and your doctor may have to discuss surgical options.

(1) Kegel exercises
Repetitive contractions by a woman of the muscles that are used to stop the urinary flow in urination in order to increase the tone of the pubococcygeal muscle especially to control incontinence or to enhance sexual responsiveness during intercourse

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Ask Advice Chick about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING related to dating, sex, love, and life! Kimberly Williams (THE resident dating expert at EURweb.com) calls on over 10 years of dating and relationship industry experience. Read past columns and more at http://www.advicechick.com