Dear Advice Chick,
I emailed you a few months ago about a basketball player I met online that plays ball in Europe. I took your advice and didn’t go to Europe. We still chatted and he got on his web cam and I sent him pics of me from my camera phone so we both knew what each other looked like. When he got back to the states he called me to let me know he had arrived. While he was in Europe I spoke to him everyday. When he got to the states I didn’t speak to him a lot. A week went by and I hadn’t talked to him and then he invited me to fly to down to visit though originally we had planned to meet but plans fell through after I hadn’t talked to him in a week. Anyway he called me up on a Saturday asking me to come down. So I flew down and he met me at the airport. As we get in town he pulls up to a car beside us that has his uncle in it. I was in the back seat because someone drove him. Anyway he pulls up to the uncle and rolled my window down so his uncle can see me. Then after we dropped my bags off because we stayed with his family he takes me to meet all his friends; as we are walking off he puts his hand on my butt. I moved it, I felt he was showing off. Then he tells me there is a party going on but he didn’t tell me it was his high school alumni party. Nor did he tell me that the weekend was filled with high school alumni events. We went to them all. I think I was used as an escort. What do you think?
Advice Chick replies,
I think he found you to be attractive, and wanted to attend his alumni events with a trophy type female on his arm. Have you heard from him since you flew down for the weekend?
All types of isht is running through my head, ma. He could have used you as a front for his alternative lifestyle. I’m not saying he is an alternative it’s just a possibility. Maybe he couldn’t pull a pretty girl when he was in high school, and took you along to “show them.” He could have even used you to make another female jealous.
How did the dates end? Are there plans for him to visit you? Plans for you to visit him again? Hit me back with more detailed information.
Dear Advice Chick,
I am with a man who is very good to me but I don’t feel any love towards him should I stay with him because he is a great man or should I find happiness elsewhere?
Advice Chick replies,
You are short-changing your man and yourself by staying in this relationship. Let him go so he can pursue happiness with a woman who can love him as much as he loves her. You will also be free to pursue happiness with another. As Teddy P. sang, “it’s SO good, loving somebody when somebody loves you back.” Watch yourself ma. Nobody wants to feel like a fool. The Pretenders sang, “it’s a thin line between love and hate.” THAT is so true.
