Dear Advice Chick,
I am a twenty-three year old woman, who's in college and currently in between jobs because I'm pursuing an unpaid internship. I am tremendously lonely. I'm shy and don't know how to speak to men. I also believe that because I'm a plus-sized woman most men I meet don't want anything to do with me.
When I'm in a friendship with a man it's usually brief, unless it's online. In that case, it lasts for a while. I want to know what should I do. I'm so lonely and I don't want to spend my time with a guy who's gonna treat me like garbage because I feel like I can't get anybody else.
Advice Chick, replies,
You have to conform to the world, it will no conform to you. I am hearing serious self-esteem issues, but you’re gonna be just fine. Big ups for continuing your education, and good luck with the internship. Now. God don’t make no junk! Brush yourself off and take a good look in the mirror. You’re overweight. What are you going to do about it? You can complain and feel sorry for yourself, or you can take action.
My guess is people clowned you about your size and as a result, you have become very insecure. Some men in your past have lead you to believe that you’re worthless because you’re a big girl. They treated you poorly, and you have accepted it because your self worth, until today, was a myth. Sweetie, you are worthy of being treated like a lady.
Every negative word uttered into your ear was a lie. Do you hear me? It was a lie. You are smart, big, and beautiful. To lose the weight, start working out and eating better. Talk to your doctor about better dietary, and exercise options. Lord knows I have ups and downs with my weight, but you know what? I am fine whether I’m a size 12 or a size 20! You name it, I’ve tried it. The treadmill, coupled with better eating habits will help you lose weight at a reasonable pace.
You can meet men who are interested in meeting you by placing an accurate and honest online personal ad. Post a recent photo, and state who you honestly are, and who you are honestly looking to meet. Place an ad on 2 or 3 sites to increase your odds. If age isn’t an issue, consider BBW clubs. They’re known to attract men who are very interested in meeting full-figured/thick/BBW women.
Dear Advice Chick,
I have been dating this man for 2 years. We are very serious and are thinking about getting married. The only problem is his has the “baby mama” whom can’t seem to let him go. She also has kids. I have one child but not from him. My son father is deceased; he has two daughters from her. He does the discipline for my son and me for the girls when they are at our house. So one day the daughter that is nine called me a “B” because I wouldn’t let her stay up all night. I told her if she disrespect me again I was going to spank her butt, so by her being nine going on thirty she did and I spanked her butt just enough to remind her she is a child and to stay in a child place.
The next day her mother came over to our house talking about she want to fight me for spanking her daughter. As childish as it may seem I went outside like what to do. So my man “her daughter’s dad” came outside and told her to get the “F” off our property. Anyway she is saying she won’t bring the girls over to see him if I continue to live there. Now he is looking pitiful because he really want to see his girls and When I did spank the daughter he did not object or say I spanked her too long or too hard I wouldn’t do that cause I have a child also, so yes I spanked her not beat her. I think the baby mama is being ignorant. What should I try to do to resolve the situation? But be advised I’m NOT leaving our house or MY MAN for nobody. I just hate to see him miserable.
Advice Chick, replies,
Leave the disciplining of his daughter to him. His daughter doesn’t look to you as a mother figure, she already has a mom. In her mind, you’re just her dad's girlfriend. Your son, on the other hand, looks to your man as his dad - big difference. Should the “bad seed” daughter be allowed to disrespect you in your home? No. You, he, and her mom should talk. Let baby momma know that if her daughter needs to be disciplined, going forward it will be done by him. I’m sure this will be alight with baby momma, and things will be better in your home.
