Everyone loves to throw around the term “fear of commitment”, but do they ever stop to think about what might be behind it? For years, men have been labeled with this badge of dishonor by scorned women everywhere. If a guy doesn’t want to make the move to the next level of commitment in a relationship, women are quick to label them “afraid”, when it could be much deeper than that.

So what really goes on inside a man’s head when it’s time to make a commitment? Here are the top five most common fears that may arise in a guy’s mind as a relationship progresses.

1) Fear of Losing His Identity – He may be feeling like ever since the two of you started dating, he has become less of his own person. People may now associate him with being part of a couple as opposed to who he was before you came into the picture. What used to simply be “John,” has now been replaced with “Lisa and John”.

2) Fear of Losing His Independence – He may worry about no longer being able to do the things that he used to enjoy on his own. The all important guys night might suddenly be in jeopardy of extinction. With a new woman in the picture, days spent sitting on the couch in his boxers eating chicken out of the bucket may no longer be on the itinerary.

3) Fear of Disappointing You – Let’s face it, we all like to set our expectations pretty high when it comes to relationships. We want to believe that this person can not only satisfy our needs and desires, but that we’ll able to offer the same in return. If a man feels like he might not be able to live up to the expectations that you’ve set for him, he may choose to take a step back. Rather than disappoint you on a grand scale, he’d prefer to play it cool.

4) Fear of You Not Fitting In – Love can blind us to the truth and sometimes it can take a wise word from a friend or family member to help set us straight. If a guy is crazy for a woman but can already tell that she probably won’t get along with his inner circle, he’ll be reluctant to make the next move. If he makes the commitment, inevitably the introductions will have to follow. To avoid the criticism all together, he might just opt to keep it casual.

5) Fear of Admitting the Truth – This one might be tough to hear, but he just might not be that into you. While he might really enjoy spending time with you going to the occasional dinner and a movie, he may not be interested in much more than that. He doesn’t want to cut you loose completely, because he truly does enjoy your company. Unfortunately, reality sets in and he realizes that this relationship probably doesn’t have long term potential. Sorry to say, but it could be that you are Ms. Right Now and not Ms. Right.

So the next time you’re about to throw around the “fear of commitment” thing, take a quick step back and think about what’s really going on. You just might find a deeper explanation for the situation.

Jeff Cohen is the author of the e-book, 30 Minute Guide to Online Dating. It's a must-read for anyone looking to master the art of online dating without wasting hours of valuable time. To learn more about the e-book and purchase a copy, please visit Online Dating eBook.