Around the World in 80 (ok, 20!) Dating Tips

by Jennifer Cox
Click here to purchase here book - Around the World in 80 Dates

Tips for women (though useful for men too)

1. Have you space in your life for The One?
Looking for and being in a relationship takes time: it’s like a dog that needs walking, grooming, playtime in the park and the occasional trip to the vet. But we’re frightened of being alone, so fill our lives with work, gym, friends and more work. Don’t be one of those people who says they want to meet someone but doesn’t have the time. Make the time.

2. Take a Look in the Mirror
Like what you see? Good, then you’re in the right mood for dating. As The Love Professor taught me, the person you pick reflects the way you feel about yourself: feel good and you’ll get a guy who values and treats you well. Date on a Bad Hair Day, and you’re likely to pick someone miserable, who shares that low opinion of you and the world in general. Give yourself some love before pouring that effort into another person.

3. Take time to think about what you really want in a relationship
Is good conversation more important than a good body; healthy head of hair v. healthy bank balance …? Once you’ve imagined your perfect man, write a Soul Mate Job Description and stick it on your fridge. Like your Dating Motto, it should keep you mission focused and stop you pouring too much energy into Mr Wrong.

4. What’s your Dating Motto?
Mine was ‘It’s not about sex, it’s about romance’ (casual sex is the emotional kebab of the relationship world: easy to get after the bars shut, leaves you feeling rubbish for the next three days). My motto kept me mission focused: to find someone I was emotionally as well as physically compatible with.

5. Avoid Date Fatigue
Steer clear of dinner dates: it takes a moment not a meal to know if you like someone (and if you don’t, hours of forced conversation quickly leads to Date Fatigue). Do something you enjoy instead: go see a band; scramble up a climbing wall … that way there’s plenty to talk about, and if he’s not The One you’ll still have fun.

6. Dress to impress
Deciding on a first date outfit can quickly turn into a stress-meltdown nightmare. So keep it easy and stick to something you like and know you look cute in. If in doubt, dress up rather than down (being over-dressed may be a little embarrassing but being under-dressed will make you feel dowdy and set off a full blown self-esteem crisis). Accentuate rather than flaunt your assets (great legs? Wear a sheer on the knee skirt. Impressive cleavage? Wear a blouse that hints at it, rather than a plunging neckline that lays it out on the table).

7. Best Conversation Openers
‘You’re not like all the others…’ Traveling around the world dating 80 men was a natural conversation opener. Generally speaking though, it’s good to start by asking your Date about himself: it’s flattering and confidence building for the guy. Try and keep it light though: no talk of exes or illness (you want to be his girlfriend not his Mom).

8. Trust Your Instincts
We know straight away if he's The One. But, busy and frightened of being alone, we spend the date telling ourselves he knows wine and doesn't seem to have been dressed by his mother, so ... hey, that's good enough. Be honest with yourself and trust your instincts: there are good single guys out there - keep looking

9. Be Positive
It took a world of people to make me realize what total nonsense it is to believe (with apologies to Nat King Cole) that ‘When I fail in love, it will be forever’. Don’t give up, and don’t settle for less than Mr Right.

10. Men are extremely competitive
I quickly learnt that when you date 80 men, their #1 priority is to be better than the 79 others. If you date more than one man, your experience may not be like mine - one crazy long champagne-yacht-a-thon – but you will find men try harder when they think there’s competition.

Click here to purchase here book - Around the World in 80 Dates

For the guys (good for women to know too though)

1. Look at her eyes before you look at her breasts.
It’s just polite really.

2. Be a little mysterious
Women will ask you a ton of questions to try and put you at ease: answer no more than three in a row. Your date will quickly tire of listening to you talk about yourself; no one likes a whiney, selfish boy. If you need to talk about yourself that much, go for therapy first, then go dating.

3. Don’t dwell on Ex Girlfriends
Mention the last one to show healthy closure, then move on. Think of it like a job interview: potential employers don’t want to hear you get ugly and angry over your old boss.

4. Dress comfortably
It’s important to you know you look good, but just as important that you can relax and be yourself. Resist the impulse to do something different with your hair: you’ll spend the whole evening fiddling with it and getting distracted. Pay attention to your date, not your do.

5. Don’t use the word open minded too much
If you’re hoping for some girl on girl action, save everyone’s time and come straight out and ask.

6. Relax
Be yourself. Women don’t hate you or want to see you fail, your date is almost certainly as nervous as you are. If you’re drinking to steady your nerves though, set a limit: it is possible to be too relaxed.

7. Don’t send drinks over to another table
Not even if you think you can do it before she gets back from the restroom.

8. Be shy, cute and funny
Women love the whole vulnerable little boy lost routine. They also love to laugh. Don’t tell blond jokes though and don’t punch her arm at the end of a gag. It’s rarely appreciated.

9. Who pays?
This is always a tricky moment: she will offer but will almost certainly be flattered if you pick up the tab. Some women like to pay though so if she insists, suggest she pays next time. If she seems really determined, go ahead and let her pay half: you lose nothing by being sensitive.

10. Big Gestures
Flowers are good, but not essential on the first date. If you’re going to help her with her coat, make sure you know how: nothing kills a date like an arm lock. Likewise, don’t pull her chair out unless you are absolutely certain you can get it underneath her, before she sits down.

Click here to purchase here book - Around the World in 80 Dates