Be Each Other’s Life Coaches

By Jeff Cohen, freelance writer (cohenwriting@aol.com)

Do you remember your collegiate years when it was easy to have a workout partner for the gym? You were on a campus filled with people your age. All you had to do was find one person with similar fitness goals and you were off and running on a workout plan together. It was almost like having a personal trainer for free as each of you pushed the other to new workout heights.

Then you graduated, life got more complex, the workout partners disappeared, and your gym visits dropped off dramatically. Have you ever considered that your partner could be the perfect workout partner? Or think even bigger; have you ever considered that your partner could be the perfect life coach too?

Let’s start by understanding the difference between a therapist and life coach. A therapist delves into your past to understand your behavior today. A life coach looks forward. It’s all about setting goals and making it happen. There is absolutely no reason to spend another day on the couch channel surfing when you can be reaching your goals as a couple.

Start by each identifying one thing you want to change or improve about yourself. Let’s say you’ve always wanted to run a marathon while your partner has always wanted to learn how to cook. You set at a timetable together by looking for marathons in your area and cooking classes available. You then write down on one piece of paper that by such and such date you’ll run 26.2 miles and your partner will cook a gourmet meal. Now you’ve got the goal in writing, it’s coming to life. You’ll get energized together as you dream about crossing the finish line and preparing a delicious meal.

Writing the goal is a great start. We all know goals are that much more likely to happen when we put pen to paper. But now you need action plans to back it up. In the running department you’ll need to build up to 26.2 miles, especially if you haven’t run in years. In the cooking department, if your partner is a beginner, he or she may need to start with basic cooking skills before working up to wild Alaskan salmon. If you can each make incremental improvements every week, the end goal will no longer seem intimidating or unachievable.

Now, here’s where the life coaching comes in. Invariably, along the way one or both of you will fall off the fitness or cooking wagon. Your feet will be sore one day and you’ll want to skip your run. Or your partner will want to skip cooking class in favor of a fresh episode of Grey’s Anatomy. As each other’s life coach you’ve got to step up in these cases and motivate your partner to break through these inertia walls. When your partner pushes you a bit, your job is to listen and step-up, not blame them for putting pressure on you. By the time you take that first running step or hop in the car for cooking class you’ll be thanking your partner for the little push back into action.

In the end, you’ll finish that marathon and your partner will serve that nutritious and delicious meal. You’ll both give each other that knowing glance of thank you for making these joint goals a reality.

Jeff Cohen is the author of the e-book, 30 Minute Guide to Online Dating. It's a must-read for anyone looking to master the art of online dating without wasting hours of valuable time. To learn more about the e-book and purchase a copy, please visit "30 Minute Guide to Online Dating".