Over the course of my career, I listened to numerous stories from divorced men and women who experienced a moment of clarity just before they married their former spouses. Their intuition told them not to marry these partners, but their conscious minds, their egos, overpowered them with feelings of guilt and social obligation. On their wedding days they knew they were marrying the wrong person.
I have heard others say that they knew intuitively when entering into new relationships that they were repeating an unsuccessful cycle with the same type of partner as before. They allowed their conscious minds to reaffirm their emotional choices and ignored their inner knowledge of the predetermined outcome. Clarity emerged once they decided to take a closer look at the qualities that consistently attracted them and the unmet needs they repeatedly tried to fulfill through their intimate relationships.
To break the pattern of previous failed relationships, you must relive the past to understand why cycles have formed. Suppressing such feelings consciously only allows your unconscious mind to recreate your fear over and over again. The pain and fear produced in past relationships holds the key to your most valuable traits. The grief and hurt you carry with you is evident to others, even though you believe it is concealed. Once you have decided to accept the challenge of self-discovery and heal your pain, the types of people drawn into your life will change in response to the new energy you send out into the world.
Fear of the unknown creates a barrier to permitting change to occur, but change is a choice that you may elect to make any time. By taking control of your relationship path, you are taking responsibility and being accountable for your actions and experiences and not placing blame on others. Placing blame implies that you need the permission of others in order to have the right relationship. That belief shifts the power out of your hands and relinquishes your power over your future happiness. By taking full responsibility for the relationship choices you have made and not casting blame on other people for the absence of intimacy in your life, you are placing yourself in a position of attracting and receiving the right person.
Nancy Pina is author of the top selling relationship book, “The Right Relationship Can Happen.” For details on receiving personalized expert advice from Nancy, please visit her website at http://www.yourtruematch.com
