CREATE YOUR ONLINE DATING PERSONAL AD
As a dating/relationship online advisor, I am asked a huge amount of online dating questions.
by Steve Nakamoto
So I’ve come up with a handy recipe for creating a great personal ad (for a woman).
There are five main ingredients to a successful personal ad that attracts a lot of good quality love prospects: 1) a few great photos, 2) an intriguing screen name, 3) a male-friendly bio, 4) a clear statement of what you want, and 5) a clever closing invitation.
A FEW GREAT PHOTOS
An ancient Chinese proverb reads, “A picture is worth a thousand words.” Nothing is more important in creating a great personal ad than making sure you have a few great photos of yourself. Here are a few tips on making sure you’ve got this base properly covered:
1) Some online sites allow more than one photo and one angle. Take several photos (I took 50 myself) in order to get the select few. Have other people especially male friends pick out the one that they like best.
2) Photos should be professionally done but not overdone glamour shots.
3) Photos are small so your pictures should not be full body shots, but shoulders and above. (not just the face)
4) Be professionally styled…..hair and make-up.
5) Wear your most complimentary color.
6) Don’t have other people or your pets in your picture.
7) Have an “about to break into a big grin” smile.
8) Put some energy into your eyes.
9) Be in dress casual rather than formal or business attire.
10) Make sure that the background is not distracting.
11) Scanned photos are okay as long as the quality of the scanning is outstanding.
AN INTRIGUING SCREEN NAME
In order to protect your privacy, online dating ads let you create a short headline above your photo that describes something about you. To help you make the most of this undervalued featured, here are some key points to remember about creating a good screen name:
1) Look at what others cleverly use and put your own twist to it.
2) Highlight your most alluring feature like “BabyBlueEyes” or “BeachBlonde”
3) Avoid bland names like “susie2001” or “NiceGirl” or “HBCatLover”
4) Avoid being too direct like “MarryMe” or “WifeMaterial”
A MALE-FRIENDLY BIO
In the field of communications, a fundamental principle is “the meaning of your communication is the response you get.” A savvy Internet dater can interpret this to mean that it doesn’t matter how sophisticated your ad reads, what matters is if quality men respond. With that in mind, here are some ideas on making your ad more male-friendly:
1) Avoid sounding too romantic or girlie
2) Avoid being negative or sarcastic
3) Be brief, sweet, and fun.
4) Let them know what people like about you.
5) If you’re a “hottie” say so. It’s not bragging if it’s true.
6) Avoid shrinking your audience by listing common non-male interests like cats, sunsets, shopping, candlelights, theater, etc.
A CLEAR STATEMENT OF WHAT YOU WANT
The Bible says, “Ask and ye shall receive.” In the world of Internet dating, make sure that you ask intelligently or else you may get more of what you don’t want instead of what you do want. Here are some pointers on how to do a better job in this area:
1) Ask for honesty.
2) Ask for a chance to get to know each other.
3) Ask for a good match.
4) Ask for kindness.
5) Don’t ask for your fantasy.
A CLEVER CLOSING INVITATION
1) Tease them with a challenge to call, email, or contact.
2) Let them know that they won’t be disappointed.
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Here’s an example: PACIFIC BLUE EYES
I am not your typical Orange County woman.
I’ll take a healthy bicycle ride over limousine or a morning coffee at Starbuck’s over brunch at the Ritz-Carlton (usually!). I tell people that I like to listen to jazz music, but my heart still longs for good rock ‘n roll. Men havesaid that I’m “a little bit feisty”, “fun to be with”, and “sweet but not sour”, and “a real hottie”(They said it, I didn’t!). But most importantly to me, my close friends tell me I’m someone they can always count on to do the right thing.
For an honest gentleman with a kind heart looking for that special love match, I just may be “the one” you’ve been waiting for.
If you’re willing to get to know each other a little bit better, please contact me right away….you’ll be glad you did!
Note: Here's a great dating book written by a sharp woman who has taken a lot of criticism for equating dating to marketing. But if you're open-minded about it, I think you'll see how valuable her insight truly is. 'Find a Husband After 35 Using What I Learned at Harvard Business School'
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Steve Nakamoto is the author of the newly-released 'Dating Rocks!: The 21 Smartest Moves Women Make for Love' and the Writer’s Digest award-winning 'Men Are Like Fish: What Every Woman Needs to Know About Catching a Man' . Steve is a former human relations instructor for Dale Carnegie & Associates and NLP personal development trainer for motivational expert Tony Robbins. He has appeared on over 225 radio and TV talk shows including NBC’s The Other Half. Steve currently serves as the dating/relationship expert on iVillage.com’s “Ask Mr. Answer Man” online message board.
Purchase his book, click here
Here are some of the best books to help you with your online dating approach:
'Nobody's Perfect: What to Do When You'Ve Fallen for a Jerk but You Want to Make It Work'
'Meeting, Mating, and Cheating: Sex, Love, and the New World of Online Dating'
'Online Dating for Dummies'
'The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating and Sex'
'Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others: The Fascinating Research That Can Land You the Husband of Your Dreams'
'The Dog Lover's Guide to Dating : Using Cold Noses to Find Warm Hearts'
'Speed Dating: The Smarter, Faster Way to Lasting Love'
'Cast Your Net : A Step-by-Step Guide to Finding Your Soulmate on the Internet'
'The Rules for Online Dating : Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right in Cyberspace'
'The Commitment Cure: What to Do When You Fall for an Ambivalent Man'
'I Can't Believe I'm Buying This Book: A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating'
'The Girl's Guide to Social Savvy: Style and Grace for Today's World'
'Quickies: The Handbook of Brief Sex Therapy'
'Guide to Getting It On!: Includes Dating, Kissing, Love, Sex, Romance, Marriage, Oral Sex, Fellatio, Cunnillingus, Intercourse, Orgasms, Masturbation, Cybersex, the Prostate,'
'Just Your Type : Create the Relationship You've Always Wanted Using the Secrets of Personality Type'
'LIVING WITH THE PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE MAN'
'When Good Men Behave Badly: Change Your Behavior, Change Your Relationship'
'Men Are Dogs: A Woman's Guide To Choosing Her Breed Of Man'
'What Men Want : Three Professional Single Men Reveal to Women What It Takes to Make a Man Yours'
'Never Kiss a Frog: A Girl's Guide to Creatures from the Dating Swamp'
'Are You Fit to Love? : A Radically Different Approach to Successful Relationships'
'Find a Husband After 35 : (Using What I Learned at Harvard Business School)'
'Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others : The Fascinating Research That Can Land You the Husband of Your Dreams'
'Confessions of a Womanizer'
'He's Just Not That Into You : The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys'
'He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys'
'He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys'
'The Complex Infrastructure Known as the Female Mind : According to Relient K'
'The Happy Hook-Up: A Single Girl's Guide to Casual Sex'
'Easy Does It Dating Guide : For People in Recovery'
'The Best You'll Ever Have : What Every Woman Should Know About Getting and Giving Knock-Your-Socks-Off Sex'
'Love Talk Workbook For Women: Speak Each Other's Language Like You Never Have Before'
'Secrets and Confidences : The Complicated Truth About Women's Friendships (Live Girls)'
'Mustang Sallies : Success Secrets of Women Who Refuse to Run With the Herd'
'The 8th Habit'
'The Nice Guys' Guide to Getting Girls 2: You CAN be a Nice Guy & STILL Attract Women!'
'Eat Chocolate Naked: And 142 Other Ways to Atract Attention and Spark Romance!'
'Mr. Right, Right Now! : Man Catching Made Easy'
'How to Stop Destroying Your Relationships: A Guide to Enjoyable Dating, Mating & Relating'
'Golf for Enlightenment: The Seven Lessons for the Game of Life'
'When Body Language Goes Bad: A Dilbert Book'
If hope this article and these books can help you succeed in this dynamic new way of dating and finding love.
Good luck,
Steve Nakamoto
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