We all know how hard it can be to break up with someone. It can be extremely difficult to tell that person whom you have been dating for years that you are just not in love with them any more. What we fear the most is hurting that person. We fear their reaction, to see them crying and to see them hurt. But sometimes we just have to do it because the relationship is not right. Somewhere along the line you have discovered that there is not that intense connection you thought there may be and you know that keeping the relationship going when love is no longer present will hurt both of you even more in the long run.
Online romances are the easiest types of relationships in which to handle a break up, thankfully. Whether you have only been talking online for a few days or weeks, have had a long term online romance or you have escalated into seeing that lover in person instead of online, you have it easier when it comes to breaking up.
If you think about it, one of the reasons we resort to online dating is so that you do not have to get too emotionally close to that person. Dating online allows you to be able to talk about your innermost hopes, dreams, morals and beliefs with a certain amount of protection provided by the computer screen. You are able to freely discuss who you are without the fear of rejection. You fear rejection less because you are still almost anonymous to a person online until you meet in person. And if rejected, there are virtually millions of other online users to choose from.
In relationships that began person to person instead of online, the correct and appropriate manner for which you should break up is in person. They say that you should not even do it over the phone. This causes severe distress at the thought of having to live through the horrendous encounter of breaking someone’s heart. On the contrary, when you have started an online romance, you have every right to terminate that romance via the internet. If you started something online, you should be able to finish it online.
This is true even if you have been seeing this new person face to face. You still have every right to write a sweet and short email letter to him or her stating that the relationship is not right for you. You can do this because you went searching online for love for a reason. And that reason is to get to know people in advance before becoming emotionally attached. Breaking up with someone is an emotional experience which it does not have to be with online dating. The rules of etiquette have since been changed because of online dating. However, use your good discretion. If you started an online romance, and it grew to a mature relationship of years and seeing each other on a day to day basis, then you now should consider this a regular relationship where the normal rules of breaking up apply.
To actually end your online romance, you do no need to forfeit hours of your own time writing a novel sized email in which you lay out every reason you can possibly think of which would cause you to break up. No matter how close you may be, all you need to do is write a very short but very sweet email saying that you do not feel the relationship is right for you and you would like to move on. You will surely get a reply filled with questions and you do not have to answer each one. But it is important for you to be firm with your decision, very honest and very sweet. If he or she asks if you are going to keep dating you must say yes. If this person continues to contact you, you also have the right to block emails. And don’t forget to remove him or her from your IM list. You need to be firm and a little harsh about this because there will be a number of people you do not connect with, which is normal, and you do not want to be bogged down with a plethora of unwanted emails.
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