Eight Things NOT To Do On Your First Date

By The Advice Diva

First impressions are more important than most people think and they are even more important when you are on that first all-important date with your online sweetie. After you have been seeing someone online for a while you can easily build a comfortable and trustworthy relationship by getting to know each other through descriptive and lengthy emails and IM chats. But no matter how long you have been e-dating and how solid you think that relationship is, your entire rapport can be smashed to pieces after that first meeting.

It will be easier to detail things that you should avoid doing on your first date rather than telling you what you should do. Also, if something does go wrong on a date or you commit a huge faux pas, that date is going to remember the “bad” parts of the evening and not the good parts. People in general are more inclined to retain negative memories over the good ones. Here is a list of things not to do on that first date in no particular order:

1) Don’t forget to clean and wash your car if you are the driver for the evening. Most people are turned off by trashy looking cars. Your car does not have to be a BMW to make a good first impression but it does have to be cleaned. If your car is littered with trash, old fast food bags and possibly large rodents, then you must consider getting that car cleaned, detailed and aired out. Wash the outside as well. A good presentation shows respect.

2) Don’t get bombed. Let’s face it: alcohol makes people a little looser and you can really get to know someone after seven martinis. You might also be having a mutually fabulous time with this date and get caught up in the moment. However, on the first date you want to show maturity and responsibility. Make sure it does not get to the point where you must call for a taxi. This is not romantic.

3) Don’t cancel a first date or call the same day to change the time. Plan for your date and make sure you plan AROUND your date. You want to make your sweetie feel like this date is the most important night of your life until this point. Everyone loves to feel special. Canceling or changing the time of the date will make him or her feel very unimportant. Exceptions to this rule are death and coma.

4) Don’t go to the dinner table with no conception of table manners. Most people will assume that you will have proper table manners. It is not a subject that will come up often when you are getting to know someone online. It is normal for everyone to assume that their online mate was not born in the wild and raised by wolves. However, there are those that do not have the foggiest clue about table manners and they scare most everyone away and have no idea why. If you never thought table manners were important before then you, my friend, must learn about dinner etiquette before your date. TRUST ME!

5) Don’t ask your date to pay for his / her share of the tab. Especially if you are a guy and you ask her on that first date, don’t you dare ask her to pay for half. She will never speak to you again. And if you are a woman who asked him for the date, you must offer to pay for the entire date since you asked him; this is customary. But asking your date to pay for half is considered rude and in extremely poor taste. I have met some women who had their dates do this! Of course, there was never a second date and not even another phone call.

6) Do not attempt to jump your date’s bones. No matter how sultry and delicious your date is, refrain from trying to suck his / her lips off. Sex should never be something you dive into when you are trying to create a special relationship. The longer you wait, the sweeter it is. This is also a respect issue. If some guy was trying to get in my pants on the first date I would eventually slap him.

7) Don’t use words that would make your mamma cry. Be polite. There is no need to cuss after every other word. I know this can be difficult especially if you are used to it. My 4’8 Irish grandmother has a vocabulary similar to a truck driver. But on a first date you want to show sophistication. If you really try, you can knock out the vulgarity.

8) Don’t brag. One of the most important things TO do is let your date talk about himself / herself. Ask your date questions about their life, thoughts, ideas, etc. and refrain from monopolizing the conversation about you, you, you. Don’t brag. It is good to be proud of your accomplishments and your achievements but bragging will just cause your date to get bored. Letting him or her know about your high points on a gradual basis is much more seductive.

For questions and comments contact The Advice Diva at: thediva@advicediva.com

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