Five Dating Tips for Single Moms
By Jeff Cohen, freelance writer (cohenwriting@aol.com)
If you’re a single mom and you’re dating or thinking about dating, then you know it can get confusing at times, especially with your kids. You may ask yourself many questions. Can you, your date, and children all sleep over in the same house? Is it okay to take vacations together? How much time should your date be spending with your kids?
If you’re feeling nervous or overwhelmed by the do’s and don’ts of dating for single moms, here are five important dating tips to get it right.
1) There’s no need to parade the guys
Just because a guy takes you to the movies and for ice cream it doesn’t mean you need to arrange a summit meeting with your date and the kids. Show some discretion in making the introduction and wait until you’re reasonably certain the relationship will have some longevity.
2) Avoid parental responsibilities at the outset
It can be tempting to ask your date for parental assistance (i.e., pick up the kids at school, take them for new clothes). Keep in mind that your kids have already dealt with one breakup in their life, it could be devastating for this pattern to repeat itself. Instead, keep the relationship on a friendship level until the right time to transition into a parental role with your kids.
3) Get your priorities straight
Okay, maybe it’s been awhile since you had some intimacy in your life. Maybe a weekend getaway with your new boyfriend sounds perfect. What if your daughter is also in the volleyball championships that weekend? Naturally, these decisions can be tough. Focus on balancing your dual role as girlfriend and mother. If your relationship is meant to be, your boyfriend will understand and maybe even join you for the big game.
4) Don’t make your kids the star of the show
A romantic candlelight dinner at a fancy restaurant sounds delightful until the guilt kicks in about your kids back home. This might cause you to talk too much on your date about your children. It’s okay to share your love for the kids, but don’t let it dominate the conversation.
5) Don’t stay in it for the kids
You’re probably worried about the effect your divorce or death of a spouse has on the kids. You probably hope they never have to go through that pain again. However, that doesn’t mean you have to stay in a bad relationship just to spare your kids. Ultimately, an unhappy relationship for you will impact your kids anyway. So make the decision to stay together or breakup based on the relationship, not the kids involved.
Armed with these five tips, you’re ready to tackle the dating scene. Now get out there and meet someone new. Your kids are rooting for you. In the end, they just want you to be happy and if that means a new boyfriend, then go for it.
Jeff Cohen is the author of the e-book, 30 Minute Guide to Online Dating. It's a must-read for anyone looking to master the art of online dating without wasting hours of valuable time. To learn more about the e-book and purchase a copy, please visit Online Dating eBook.
|
