By Jeff Cohen,
freelance writer (cohenwriting@aol.com)
Congratulations! You found someone through online dating who wants to meet you in person. You’re excited and ready to see if the real life person matches the online photo, profile, email exchanges and phone conversation.
You’ve probably read many articles providing tips on what to say and do during this all important first date. But did you realize that it’s also important to avoid certain subjects and topics that can end a relationship before it even begins?
Here’s the top five topics to avoid on your first date. Steer clear of these subjects and you’ll greatly improve your chances of landing a second date and beyond.
1) Ex-boyfriends and Ex-Girlfriends
We all enter new relationships with a personal history of breakups, heartbreak, and relationships gone wrong. In fact, your previous relationship may have ended recently and is still fresh on your mind as you sit across the table from your first date. Despite the pain you may be feeling or the emotions from an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, avoid this topic at all costs. Nothing sends a stronger message to your date than bringing up a failed relationship. It makes him or her think you haven’t really moved on or that you still carry baggage from a bad experience.
2) Sexual Innuendos and Conquests
There’s nothing wrong with a little flirting, but keep it above the belt. Getting overtly sexual or bragging about your prowess in bed is a definite turn-off. You’ll have plenty of time to relive your sexual history one night down the road but your first date is not the time. Keep it clean and your date will appreciate it.
3) Pet Peeves and Negativity
We all have things that bother us and get on our nerves. In any relationship, these things will come out eventually. But they don’t need to appear on the first date. For all you know, you’re bringing up something that strikes your date the wrong way and gets you cancelled out before you have a real chance. Plus, overly negative people are a real downer. One or two complaints is fine, but setting an overall negative tone will ruin the ambiance of your date and make for a long night.
4) Online Dating Promiscuity
If you’re making the most of your online dating membership, that’s great for you. But your date tonight doesn’t need to know he or she is your seventh date this week. Making your date feel special and important is a great way to show interest. It also makes your date feel you’re being selective online, and not just saying yes to anyone who’s willing to go out with you.
5) Interview Questions
Remember, the first date is about getting to know each other. You probably have some deal breakers in mind and you may feel compelled to rattle off some questions. Keep in mind, the first date is about getting-to-know each other, not putting your date through the inquisition. So feel free to ask questions, but don’t make your date feel like a defendant suffering through the cross examination.
By avoiding these five topics, you’ll put your date and yourself at ease to enjoy the experience and find out if you have what it takes to progress to a second date and maybe even more. So keep these tips in mind the next time someone from the world of online dating agrees to go out with you.
Jeff Cohen is the author of the e-book, 30 Minute Guide to Online Dating. It's a must-read for anyone looking to master the art of online dating without wasting hours of valuable time. To learn more about the e-book and purchase a copy, please visit Online Dating eBook.
