How To Be a Memorable First Date

By Jeff Cohen, freelance writer (cohenwriting@aol.com)

What makes someone come home from a first date and tell their friends, “Wow, my date was awesome! I had such a great time getting to know this person and can’t wait to see them again.” While it might have been the revealing outfit they wore or maybe even their cologne, it was most likely something more than that. Things that make a first date truly memorable are often found in the mental more than the physical connections.

Be a True Optimist: Try and open yourself up to thinking positively when out on a first date. As the old cliché goes, try to see the glass as half full rather than half empty. Ignore the fact that you prefer to date men that are 6 feet or taller when this guy is only 5 foot 9. A person’s height shouldn’t determine their level of intelligence or sense of humor. Try not to pay attention to the fact that she has brown hair when you really prefer blondes. She could turn out to be one of the coolest people you’ve met in a while.

Be a Good Listener: On a date, a great listener knows how to keep the conversation moving with a healthy mix of give and take. The more you focus on asking the other person questions, the more you’ll learn about them. If you allow your date to really open up and tell you about who they are, it’s highly likely that they’ll reciprocate. When the time comes for them to find out all about you, you’ll be ready and willing to answer any questions that they might fire at you. Just remember to always keep that conversation steadily flowing back and forth.

Be Flexible: When it comes to a first date, one of the most difficult parts can be simply agreeing on where to go and what to do. If the other person went to the trouble of taking the reins and making all the arrangements, be as flexible as you can. So you don’t really love Chinese food, and they booked an 8 pm reservation at Ming’s Palace. Should you say something? It’s probably not wise in the case of a first date. Surely there must be something simple on the menu that you could be happy with. Try and appreciate the fact that the other person took the time to set this whole thing up and just go along with it. You might even end up finding that you love General Tao’s chicken after all.

Be Yourself: This one is perhaps the most important of all the points. If you’re not being yourself on a first date, you are truly doing a disservice to the other person. They agreed to go out with you because there was something there that piqued their interest. If you seemed so funny on the phone, but on the date you are all stiff and serious, that’s not a real reflection of you. If you think of yourself as a silly and playful person, don’t hide that from your date. Be yourself and let your true energy shine through. If it turns out that your date isn’t interested in that side of you, then you’ll know it’s time to move on.

So keep these four first date tips in mind and you just may find yourself on a second day in the not too distant future.

Jeff Cohen is the author of the e-book, 30 Minute Guide to Online Dating. It's a must-read for anyone looking to master the art of online dating without wasting hours of valuable time. To learn more about the e-book and purchase a copy, please visit 30 Minute Guide to Online Dating.