By Jeff Cohen, freelance writer (cohenwriting@aol.com)
Online dating can be fun, exciting, even addictive. Let’s face it. There’s nothing like coming home after a long day of work to find three new emails from men or women who find you attractive. It’s an ego boost. You’ve put yourself out there with a profile and total strangers are impressed enough to send you an email.
While it can be exhilarating to keep meeting new people, your ultimate goal is to convert these online exchanges into offline encounters. But how do you make the transition from online instant messages and emails to face-to-face dates? The key is to learn the typical online dating progression. By following this model, you’ll not only improve your chances of going on more first dates, but you’ll have a better chance at second dates and even a long term relationship.
Stay Active and Be Responsive
The first key factor in online dating success is to stay active in the online sites you join. Think about it. If you see an attractive person online, put yourself out there, and send an email, you want a response. Hearing something back two weeks later or not at all delivers a message about the seriousness of the other person. Those brave souls who email you expect you to be active and responsive too. So if you’ve joined an online dating site, start by committing to check your inbox and browse the database of singles on a regular basis. You’ll make a great first impression with your potential date.
Communicate Appropriately
Once you enter into an online chat or email exchange with a potential date, keep the language and content of your emails appropriate. Avoid overtly sexual material or super personal questions. You’ll come across as either a pervert or desperate dater. Either way, your chances of securing an offline date decrease dramatically. Instead focus on casual conversation, perhaps asking your potential date to expand on something he or she wrote in the profile.
Advance to Phone Contact
If the online exchanges are progressing nicely, you’ll know the right time to upgrade to a phone conversation. This is a great intermediate step before you agree to a face-to-face date. First, you’ll get a chance to hear the other person’s voice and see if their tone and demeanor match their profile. Second, phone conversations are real-time as opposed to email exchanges. Your potential date won’t have the luxury of crafting perfect, well thought out responses to your questions. Instead, he or she will have to think on their toes and show some spontaneity.
Keep the First Date Short and Sweet
If you’re still feeling a good connection after the email exchanges and phone chat, then it’s time to book a real date. There’s no need to go for the most impressive date of all time. Too many daters look to impress from the start with an elaborate date full of expensive dinners, front row theater tickets, etc. Instead, meet for a drink or grab a cup of coffee. Choose something simple that gives you a chance to talk and get-to-know each other better. You’ll know right away on the date if you want to continue the relationship beyond the first martini or cup of Starbucks. Plus, if you don’t hit it off, at least you don’t have to sit through the second act of a play or three more courses of a fancy dinner.
By following these tips you’ll be on your way to making the most of your online dating experience. You’ll also give yourself the best possible odds of converting online experiences into offline encounters.
Jeff Cohen is the author of the e-book, 30 Minute Guide to Online Dating. It's a must-read for anyone looking to master the art of online dating without wasting hours of valuable time. To learn more about the e-book and purchase a copy, please visit Online Dating eBook.
