Meet Me...Don't Delete Me! (Choose the Right Photo)
By Bev Bacon
Even though thirty million people are Internet dating, for some, this new experience can be a little uncomfortable. Since certain people are concerned about their image, (dating online, that is) people try to remain anonymous, especially at first. But once you post that mug shot on your ad, anonymity goes right out the window.
The thought of having your picture on the World Wide Web can be a little intimidating at first. Okay, maybe not a little intimidating, maybe anxiety producing on the same level as going to a proctologist…with big hands. So deciding what photograph to post is extremely important.
It’s pretty obvious the first thing we see when browsing Internet ads are the photos. No matter how flowery your profile is, if we aren’t interested in the photo, chances are, you may end up in the recycle bin. Plus, statistics are sky high for being deleted if you don’t post one at all. When deciding which photo to use, keep in mind the main thing we all like to see is…your face.
After scanning hundreds of ads, I have noticed that a number of photos posted could make a girl or guy’s own mother turn over in her grave. I have to wonder what some of these people are thinking when they choose certain pictures. The main reason for having an ad up is to attract a mate, right? That’s why it is so important to choose a pleasant, smiley photo. I’m sure most of you have a favorite picture that you like to show friends, but it may not be the right one to use to find your new honey bunch. I suggest shying away from using photos of you at the top of a ski slope, bundled in a puffy snowsuit, donning the most stylist ski goggles on the market. Makes it a little tough for us to see what you look like! I would also stay away from any pictures taken of you at the Bureau of Motor Vehicles or any profile shots taken with ‘Property of ABC County Jail’ below.
Avoid using shots that are taken from a distance. At the same time, however, try not to use ones that are cropped too tight. I saw one guy’s ad where he had not one, not two, not three, but four shots with the top of his head cut off. What does that mean? Can we use him as an end table and put a bowl of chips and a drink up there? Or is there a possibility he’s a little insecure about his hairline? Don’t worry guys, be yourselves, lots of women find the male balding pattern kind of sexy. (Except that combed over, flippy thingie going on.)
It’s also best to post a photo with just you. Leave the ex’s out. If you think it will impress us seeing you next to a cute blonde, think otherwise. Definitely leave out members of the opposite sex, we won’t know if it’s your son, your nephew, or the pool boy.
Besides getting a nice, close-up, in focus shot, use one that was taken within the last six to 12 months, not the one that you exchanged in high school. Don’t disappoint your date the minute you walk in the room by being deceptive. A good rule of thumb: If you don’t look like you do when looking at yourself in the mirror, don’t use it!
Feel good about how you look, portray yourself as such, and I guarantee, the date will be much more ‘picture’ perfect!
Internet dating expert and author, Bev (Jarvis) Bacon, grew up and spent the majority of her ‘dating’ life in Kettering, Ohio. After several years of online dating, she realized that a different strategy was needed dating ‘this way’. Through her own personal experience, she feels she’s made all the mistakes so YOU don’t have to! Her book, “Meet Me…Don’t Delete Me!” explains what you can do to improve your chances of NOT being deleted in the process. Bev currently lives in Los Angeles.
