Relationships - tips for success

A 'good relationship' means different things to different people. However, good adult relationships generally involve two people who respect each other, can communicate, and have equal rights, opportunities and responsibilities. Most of us would also expect our relationship with our partner to include love, intimacy and sexual expression, commitment, compatibility and companionship.

Working at it
All couples want to have a successful and rewarding relationship. It is normal for couples to have their ups and downs. To meet these challenges, and to keep your relationship healthy and happy, you need to work at it.

Tips for a good relationship
The following tips may help you improve your relationship and be better prepared to meet the challenges along the way.

• Talk to each other – just because you love each other, it doesn't mean you automatically communicate well or can read your partner's mind, or that they can read yours. Listen to each other and communicate your needs. Don't wait for your partner to try to guess what is going on with you.
• Spend time together – make your relationship a priority and make time for each other.
• Work on feeling good about yourself – this will help the way you feel about your relationship.
• Everyone is different – accept and value differences in others, including your partner.
• Be flexible – let your relationship grow and adapt with you as you change.
• Make plans – set goals for your relationship and plan for your future.
• Be supportive – try not to judge, criticise or blame each other; we are all human.
• Learn from arguments – accept that arguments will happen and try to resolve them with respect.
• Be sexually considerate – be affectionate and accept that individuals have different sex drives. Remember that sustaining a healthy and happy sex life requires negotiation.
• Be attentive – demonstrate your commitment to the relationship.
• Enjoy yourself – have fun and celebrate your life together.

Long-term relationships
In a long-term relationship, it's easy to assume you know all there is to know about your partner. But people change. Try to be aware of what is happening in your relationship and understand who your partner is and where they are at. Stay curious about (but respectful of) each other.

Seeking help
If there are issues in your relationship that are difficult or painful to talk to each other about, consider seeing a counsellor. A counsellor can be of great value to help you talk things through.

Things to remember

• A good relationship doesn't just happen – you have to work at it.
• All couples experience problems and challenges in their relationships.
• There are many things you can do to help build healthy and happy relationships and prepare for the challenges along the way.
• Relationships change. You need to be aware of how they are changing and adapt to those changes.
• If problems become too difficult or complex, consider seeking the help of a counsellor.

Courtesy of:  Psychotherapy and Counselling Federation of Australia (PACFA) & Better Health Channel.