Stop Lying in your Online Profile!

By Jeff Cohen, freelance writer (cohenwriting@aol.com)

You’re sitting at your local Starbucks sipping on a mocha latte. Any minute your dating prospect should be walking in for the all-important first date. You mentally review their online profile one more time, smiling as you think about the possibilities. Could this person be too good to be true? Just the right height, the perfect age, complimentary hobbies, the same religion. According to the profile, this should be your soul mate.

Minutes later the opposite of the online profile walks in. For a moment you assume they’ll just keep on walking but this nightmare is unfolding right in front of your eyes. They walk right up to you, shake your hand, and take a seat across from you. You give them a penetrating look with your eyes, wondering if they can tell how disappointed you are in the real-life version of your date. Instead, you take the high road, go back and forth with idle chit-chat, thank them for the date, and officially cross them off your dating prospect list.

Inside you’re really hurt by the lying and deceit. Why can’t people just be honest in their profiles? Let me be the first to say I know exactly why people choose to lie when it comes to online dating. They start by picturing their perfect partner. Next, they think about what their perfect partner might be looking for in cyberspace. They then go about crafting a profile to match this supposed perfect partner. Honesty goes out the window as the description drifts further and further from reality. What does this liar believe is the justification for their misleading profile? They think that their perfect partner would never agree to meet the real them and they would get canceled out before getting a chance to impress in real-life.

I’ve seen this scenario enough to know that you will in fact land more first dates by lying on your profile. But is online dating really all about first dates. Aren’t you instead going through all the awkward conversation for a chance at making a lasting connection? If so, do you really believe you have a good shot at building something special by starting off with a lie. Even if you could convince the other person to love the real you, they’ll always be suspicious about what else you’ve lied about. That is not the way to build something special in any relationship.

Is it really so hard to believe that someone out there could love the real you? If not, rather than lie on your profile, change what you don’t like about yourself. I’m not talking plastic surgery here. But if you want to overhaul your wardrobe, get a new haircut, drop a few pounds, go for it. It’s a much better strategy than claiming these things to be true without putting in the effort.

The sooner we can all agree to stop lying in our profiles the sooner we’ll be on our way to a pure online dating experience. In the end, that’s what we all want anyway.

Jeff Cohen is the author of the e-book, 30 Minute Guide to Online Dating. It's a must-read for anyone looking to master the art of online dating without wasting hours of valuable time. To learn more about the e-book and purchase a copy, please visit "30 Minute Guide to Online Dating".