While you might think that you know all of the tell-tale signs associated with infidelity, you could be wrong. There are the obvious things such as a new perfume or cologne, sudden interest in the gym, and of course lipstick on the collar. Unfortunately, the signals aren’t always that loud and clear. Here are five not so obvious signs that will help clue you in.

1) Small Fights – If you’ve been cruising along well in your relationship, and your mate starts picking small fights with you, something could be wrong. You may find that your partner is unwilling to sit and talk it out in favor of quickly bailing out of the conversation. It may be a ploy to slam the door, storm off, and go meet their lover for a quick rendezvous. Or it may just be something that they plan to use down the road as justification for the affair. They could always throw in you face “all we ever do anymore is argue” and it would actually be true.

2) New Look – If your partner has always been a t-shirt and jeans kind of guy and suddenly shifts to fancy button downs and pressed suits, that could be a clear indicator. Out of nowhere, he’s sporting a trendy new haircut, using fancy moisturizers, and dressing like a GQ model. Unless he’s at the right age to qualify for a mid-life crisis, he’s probably having an affair. If not, he may be getting himself geared up to start one.

3) Sex Drive – This signal could appear from many different directions. She might become distant and appear to be uninterested in the bedroom. It could also be just the opposite. If she suddenly has a heightened sex drive when she’s normally low-key, that could be a sign. It’s possible that she’s feeling so excited by her other man that her overactive libido is spilling over in your bedroom. It could also be that she’s feeling nervous or guilty about the affair and doesn’t want to withhold sex from you. She’s trying not to raise any red flags, but that’s precisely what seems to be happening.

4) Clouded Memory – If your mate tells you that they grabbed a drink with friends after work but can’t remember where, that’s a definite signal. How do you forget the name of a bar that you just spent three hours in? They are probably trying to keep details to a minimum in an effort to keep the stories straight. When people tell the truth, the details and facts can easily be recalled. When all or most of a story is fabricated, it’s difficult to keep track of what was and wasn’t said. Pay attention to the details the first time that you hear them. Days later, question your mate and see if the stories match up.

5) New Interests – There is no debating the fact that your man is a self-described guy’s guy. He loves football and his diet consists solely of pizza, wings, and beer. So, why is he suddenly taking an interest in very different things? He’s signing up for yoga classes at the local gym and has even started running in the morning before work. Instead of beer, he now drinks vodka tonics and dry martinis. He also wants to eat sushi at exotic places with names he can’t even pronounce. If you find a classical music CD in his stereo, it’s probably time to have a chat.

Jeff Cohen - About.com Dating Guide  From meeting someone new to getting serious, breaking up, or engagements, you'll find it all from your About.com Guide to Dating, Jeff Cohen. Jeff is also the author of the "30 Minute Guide to Online Dating" eBook. 

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