The Biological Clock that Does Not Click for Men

By Jeff Cohen, freelance writer (cohenwriting@aol.com)

So you’re a 33-year-old woman in a relationship with a 36-year-old man. You definitely love each other but for some reason the relationship has hit this coasting phase. Talk of engagement has fizzled amidst busy days working and even busier nights out with friends. You’ve been together about two years but really have no idea where this relationship is headed.

Suddenly it hits you! If this guy doesn’t propose soon you may be forced to end the relationship. That’s a scary proposition too because the thought of starting over at your age is anything but enticing. Then the biological clock thought crosses your mind. You do the math. If you have to start over, it may take a few years to meet someone new, another year or so to get engaged, another year after that to get married, and another year before your new man wants to talk kids. Next thing you know you’re in your early 40s and the fear is now fully present that you may have missed your window to have kids.

As a male dating expert I’ve come to understand this issue very well. Men simply do not have a biological clock and are always thinking in the back of their mind that marrying someone younger is an option. Women, through no fault of their own, don’t have this luxury and do in fact need to reproduce within a mother nature prescribed timeframe. I’m here to say that this is completely unfair and I have some advice for women in their mid-30s who are caught in the biological clock game with their boyfriends. I recommend that you no longer fear the ultimatum.

I’m not saying you need to demand engagement this minute. That would scare off even the most committed guy. But you do have a right to lay your cards on the table and get a commitment (or lack thereof) on a timetable for moving forward with your man. If he feels threatened or angered by this discussion, or claims he can’t commit to anything, then you have your answer about the inner workings of your man. If he respects you for bringing this up and wants to work together, then he’s a keeper. It’s as simple as that.

I’ve seen too many great women get caught up in the excuses of their man:

• I’ll propose when my job situation settles down
• We’ll move in together when I put some money in the bank
• There’s plenty of time to talk about marriage and kids
• We’ll get engaged when I feel the time is right
• Why rush into things, we’re happy just the way things are right now

You name the excuse and I’ve heard it. But the bottom line is that guys who won’t commit to even a timetable are robbing you of your most important dating years. No man deserves those years unless he’s the one you’ll raise a family with in the end. Otherwise, he has absolutely no right to rob these years from you only to marry someone five years younger after ending it with you.

I know it’s scary to start getting more assertive in the relationship. But if you’ve been thinking through these issues in your head the time has come to loop your man into the conversation. He’s been skating free too long and he simply must take accountability for the time you’ve been together and where it’s all headed.

So start the conversation now and within days, not years, you’ll know whether or not you’ve really found the one.

Jeff Cohen is the author of the e-book, 30 Minute Guide to Online Dating. It's a must-read for anyone looking to master the art of online dating without wasting hours of valuable time. To learn more about the e-book and purchase a copy, please visit 30 Minute Guide to Online Dating.