“What do you mean how old am I? That’s none of your %@#$ business!!” Well…. unfortunately with Internet dating, it kind of is our business. Whether we like it or not, it’s usually the first thing these sites ask when we fill out the personal ‘data’ on our profile. Why don’t they just ask us what STD’s we have instead? That question is probably easier for more people to answer honestly than how old we are.
I don’t know about you men but us women used to spend a lot of time and a lot more effort to keep our age a big fat secret. But now we have to announce to the world (literally) how many years we have been blessed to be on this planet right off the bat.
“Why worry?” Says half the Internet daters out there in cyberspace. “I’ll just lie about how old I am, because if I do, I’ll have tons and tons more responses simply because I stated that I’m two years younger than I really am.” Alrightlythen.
There are more 29 year olds, and 39 year olds, and 49 year olds Internet dating than I care to imagine. Maybe the numbers 30, 40, and 50 don’t exist on keyboards, therefore people are unable to truly list their correct age. That’s got to be the reason. Why else would someone lie about his or her age by just one year?
Well, here’s one reason I’ve been given. I’ve been told that people put thirty-nine versus forty because thirty-nine is the cut off age that is selected when doing a search. I guess that makes sense, up until the second you tell your date you’re really 46!
I guess what I’m trying to say is, “DON’T LIE ABOUT YOUR AGE!!!!” (Gee, I could have saved five paragraphs!) There are two complaints I constantly hear. One I’ll mention later, and the second being that our date lied about his or her age. Believe it or not I do understand why people do it, but it doesn’t make it the smartest thing to do, Einstein.
Some people will actually state in the narrative that their real age is older than what was put at the top of the ad. Or some literally wait until the second they meet, and before they even sit down for their cup of cappuccino, they confess that they lied about their age. What a way to impress the bu-jeezies out of us in the first .34 nanosecond.
Face it. No matter what the reason, people get upset when they are lied to. When I see that a guy puts his real age down in the narrative section, I guess I assume he isn’t confident enough to be honest about who he really is. Then how much money or how big his muscles are just don’t seem to matter as much any more. But if he has a really nice car…
And then there are the ones who use half of their narratives explaining how they look younger than their age, and how their friends guess them to be ten years younger. Save yourself the keystrokes, folks. If you look younger than you are, we’ll take note of that when we glare at your very recent photo you posted.
Okay, let’s look at the other personal data we need to list. Eye color, hair color, where we live, astrological sign, and ethnicity are pretty easy to answer and most people do so honestly. But then we come to the height and ‘body type’ (AKA how much do you weigh!) section. Different story.
Height. I’ve known for years that men and women have a different scale when it comes to measurement, but for gosh sakes guys, forget putting you’re 6’0” when we clearly see that you are the size of Napoleon. Some of us women may not be the brightest creatures in the world when it comes to politics, mathematics, and world history, but when you come up to our belly buttons, we can pretty much figure out that you’re not really 6’0.” Get off your insecurity wagon, get out a measuring stick and let us both know how tall you are.
I didn’t just get off the onion wagon yesterday. I know it’s very difficult for guys who are vertically challenged. There’s not much one can do to change that fact, but deceiving us is not going to make us want to write home to Mom about it. Grow up…I mean, get over it! The more you focus on an area that may be troublesome to you, the more it will project onto others.
Since I picked on the men, I have equal ‘picking’ rights with the women. No, you don’t lie about your height very often, but the ‘body type’ is a different story. This has got to be the number gripe I hear from men. Women are heavier than they are in their photos. Yes women, I know guys do the same, but I don’t think on the same scale (oops, sorry about that) as the ladies do. Think about it. Why would you put up a photo that doesn’t look like you in the here and now? It will only disappoint them, and make you feel terrible. Yeah, we women like tall men, and men like slender women. (SOME, not all, mind you.) Not much we can do to change that historical fact, so that’s why it’s so important to be who you are and not what some fancy smancy glamour magazine told us to be!!
The reputation of Internet dating has taken a beating over the past few years mainly because of the ‘untruths’ people tell. Well, it’s not the Internet that should be taking a beating, it’s those knuckleheads out there who are abusing the system that should be getting the beatings. Quit it!!! Dating’s tough enough. Don’t throw us any more curve balls. Look in the mirror, feel good about who you are and portray yourself as such. As sad as it is, this is a visual environment we live in, so we have to make the best of it.
Now go out there and win one for the ol’ Gipper! (Who in the hell is the ol’ Gipper anyhow?)
Internet dating expert and author, Bev (Jarvis) Bacon, grew up and spent the majority of her ‘dating’ life in Kettering, Ohio. After several years of online dating, she realized that a different strategy was needed dating ‘this way’. Through her own personal experience, she feels she’s made all the mistakes so YOU don’t have to! Her book, “Meet Me…Don’t Delete Me!” explains what you can do to improve your chances of NOT being deleted in the process. Bev currently lives in Los Angeles.
